Happy Thanksgiving! Headed off to see family this weekend or next month? The holidays can be a trying time, whether you hail from the eighteenth century or the twenty-first. Here’s a handy guide to getting through it all.
1. Try to call ahead
Avoid awkward situations and phone first.
2. Stay out of family disputes
Has your husband just accused your sister-in-law of playing whore to the area’s most notorious sadist? Does your nephew keep running away from home? It might not be your place to intervene, especially if it’s been awhile (say, twenty years) since you’ve seen everyone. Wisely stay out of it and just enjoy the fireworks.
3. Be respectful of your host’s home
Namely, don’t destroy their potting shed in a fit of rage. But also remember to wipe your shoes, help out with chores, and keep your feet off the furniture.
4. Steer clear of politics
No doubt some members of your family support the Jacobite uprising while others are convinced it’s a doomed effort. Try to set differences aside and be thankful for family, even if your grandfather is a manipulative jerkwad.
5. Go easy on the alcohol
Honestly, you never know what’s in that crème de menthe.
6. Make the best of it if you’re forced to share a room
We all have to make sacrifices this time of year. Remember, the whore gets the bigger bed.
7. Enjoy the party but keep your wits about you
Nothing is ever as innocent as it seems.
8. Be grateful for loved ones
Life is short and our time together is fleeting. Give thanks and hold your loved ones close.